The Fellowship Of The Dodgy Jeep
by crazy4skittlez
Summary: ok, prob been done many times before, but jus read it PLZ?! (oh yeah and review!) the fellowship get helped out by one man and his dog....I missed a bit last time i uploaded this chapter!!!soz!
1. House-Hunting + Car Trouble

The Fellowship Of The Dodgy Jeep  
  
Notes: Ok, lame title, but I couldn't think of a better title at the moment.I might change it later. This is about the fellowship, but they live in our time.the ring might come into it later, but at the moment they're just friends. Sorry if it's a bit dull at first, it's my first try at something like this and I didn't know how to start off! I put it in the humour section because it's not meant to be taken seriously, even though it might not be that funny. Please review, even if you don't like it; just say why and how I can make it better.  
  
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, except for random extras but you can take them if you want. Sorry if anyone has already done something like this before, I'm not stealing your idea on purpose! Ok, now you can read! : P  
  
  
  
Chapter 1.House Hunting & Car Trouble  
  
"City!" "Country!" "City!" "Country!" "City!" "Country!" "City!" "Country!" "Guys! Cool it!" yelled Aragorn, fed up with Gimli's and Legolas' constant bickering.  
  
Most of the fellowship sat down at a large McDonald's table in a motorway service station. Gandalf, was holding the 'Properties' section of a newspaper he had just bought. The hobbits had raced over to the food counter as soon as they had arrived. Boromir had gone with them to make sure they didn't spend themselves out of the 'house and home' they didn't even have yet. Aragorn sighed as he looked over at Legolas and Gimli who were still giving each other icy glares. Gandalf began reading out loud when the others had returned with a mountain of food.  
  
"Traditional mid terraced house. Hallway, living room, small kitchen, two bedrooms and ground floor shower. Gas central heating. Small patio to rear."  
  
"Gandalf.there are NINE of us!" stressed Aragorn. ".AND," put in Legolas, "it's in the CITY!!" the others looked at him like he was stupid. "Which is where any GOOD home would be," argued Gimli "but I agree with Aragorn, its way too small!"  
  
"Ok then, how about this one. Large medieval detached property situated on a steep hill. 1 large, elegantly decorated bedroom, complete with en-suite. Large dining hall situated above occupied dungeons and musty servants quarters. Complete with iron gates surrounding the property and rats that wouldn't leave."  
  
"Um, Gandalf? That one kinda freaks me out." whispered Frodo who was shaking like a leaf. Merry and Pippin were hiding under a pile of fries and Sam was cowering under the table. " Yeah, when I said 'country' I just meant 'quiet fields and trees', not 'haunted house miles from civilisation'." agreed Legolas.  
  
"Look, it's late. This place will be closing soon. Why don't we just find a hotel somewhere and start looking properly in the morning?" suggested Boromir who was getting tired of Gandalf's crazy ideas. "Boromir's right, were not getting anywhere right now, lets just finish off here and get some sleep."  
  
So they snatched the few remaining chips out of the hobbits reach, and piled into the old, red jeep, heading off with Gandalf at the rusty wheel. Aragorn was sat in the front passenger seat, with a large, coffee stained map of 'god knows where'. Behind them, the hobbits squashed together, on a battered leather seat. The fellowship soon got bored of travelling. Merry and Pippin were busy pulling the stuffing out while Frodo and Sam kicked the back of Aragorn's seat. Behind the hobbits, Legolas and Gimli were arguing again, this time with Boromir as well. "You cheated!" shouted Legolas. "Did not!" replied Gimli "Did too!" "Did not!" "How can you cheat at 'Rock, Paper, Scissors?!" asked Boromir who had been watching them fight. "Dunno, ask the smelly 'thing' over there, he's the one that did it!" "Forget it Girl-Face! Your just jealous coz I'm the best!" "No your not, your just a cheater! Isn't he Boromir?!" "Well." began Boromir, unsure of what to say. "Boromir! Don't side with the fairy!" "But I." Boromir agued. "Boromir! I thought you were my friend!" yelled Legolas who began hitting Boromir in the shoulder. "Ow! Legg!! Quit it!" cried Boromir, "I didn't say you weren't my friend!" "Then why did you take Gimli's side?!" Legolas questioned why still hitting his target. "I didn't!" Gimli then started hitting Boromir in the other shoulder. "Guys!" whined Boromir. "Aragorn! Make 'em stoppit!" he pleaded looking into the rear-view mirror.  
  
Aragorn, however, wasn't listening. He was studying the map for a place to spend the night. "Ah-hah!" he cried in triumph, causing everyone to look at him suddenly. Even the arguers had stopped arguing. "I've found it! There should be a hotel just round the next bend!"  
  
Everyone was relieved. They'd been driving around in the stuffy, smelly (thanks to Gimli) jeep for over an hour now. They turned the bend, and looked through the darkness at the 'hotel'. "Last time I saw a hotel, it seemed to have a few more walls and a lot less mud." commented Legolas in disgust. "Mud that we're now stuck in," added Gandalf, glaring at Aragorn. "Oops! Just a fly on the map!" Aragorn giggled nervously. "Do you even know were we are?" asked Gandalf, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. "Would it help my case if I said yes?" replied Aragorn, and slid down into his seat with a groan.  
  
TBC.. If you like it .. 


	2. Fun on the Faarm

Chapter 2. Fun on the Faarm  
  
  
  
*Looks at screen, see's reviews, does a little happy dance*  
  
Thanks For the Reviews!!!  
  
  
  
"Wor aarv we yer then, Jess? Looks loike they be stuck in this yer mud, eh? Wor say we try an' 'elp 'em ou' loike? I'll go fetch us some ropes an' a traactor, an' we'll see wor like we caan do for 'em!"  
  
Aragorn's eyes shot open as the jeep suddenly jerked backwards. They had all fallen asleep after finding there was no way they could get the car out in the pitch dark.  
  
"Arghhh!!!!!! There's a huge metal monster trying to eat us!!!" screamed Legolas clambering over the seat in front and landing on some unsuspecting hobbits.  
  
"Arghhh!!!!! Some one dropped an elf on me!!!!" cried Merry  
  
"Arghhh!!!!! We're outa Cheese 'n' onion!!!!!" shouted Gimli in horror.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! WE'RE ALL GUNA DIE, WE'RE ALL GUNA DIE!!!!!" cried Boromir.  
  
Then, a tall, dark stranger appeared at the passenger window, and gave a polite knock. Aragorn wound it down.  
  
"Well hello there young sir's, wor brings you all out yer to the faarm? You loose yer way p'raaps? 'Ow's 'bout you come over to the co'age an' aarva nice cuppa tea an' a bickie, while I gets the laads to hose-down yer caar?"  
  
"FOOD!!!!" cried the hobbits as they raced out of the jeep, knocking Legolas onto the floor in the process.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
At the Cottage: ~  
  
"My, you lot look loike you 'aven't ate for daays!" chuckled the farmer as he watched the hobbits devour the mountain of food in front of them.  
  
"I don' 'spect you be gettin' any scraaps yer me love!" he said patting Jess who was sat by his chair looking up at him with big puppy-dog eyes.  
  
"Thanks again for helping us out of the mud, Farmer Potter," said Gandalf, sipping his tea.  
  
"Thaat be okaay, wor were 'eading for any'ow? Oh, an' caall me 'aarry," he said.  
  
"Well, Harry, that's just it, we're not sure where were heading. We haven't got anywhere to stay at the moment and we need work aswell," answered Boromir.  
  
"I Know! Why don' you stay yer on the faarm! Wer aalways looking for 'elpers wor with the laads baack to school next week an' all. We got plen'y 'a' room in yer!" he offered happily.  
  
"Yay!!! We're gunna live in the country! We gunna live in the country!! In your face Gimli!!" sang Legolas, jumping up and down on his chair.  
  
"Hmph!" Gimli grunted folding his arms over his chest and sinking into his chair.  
  
"So what's first?" asked Merry when his plate was empty.  
  
"I'll set you all aarea's of the faarm to look aafter I think. It woudn't be doin' to aarv you all trippin' o'er each others feet all the time. So:  
  
Gandalf you be lookin aafter the cows,  
  
Aragorn will look aafter the sheep,  
  
Merry an' Pippin can work the corn field,  
  
Frodo an' Sam can look aafter the chickens,  
  
Legolas an' Boromir be working at the stables,  
  
And Gimli can muck out the pigs.  
  
Roight then, ev'ry one got tha'? Good. I'll be comin' 'round to see 'ow you's gettin' on later, so work 'aard till then, an' make me proud!"  
  
With that they marched out the door, and into the yard. 


	3. Eggs: The All Purpose Food

Chapter 3.Eggs: The All Purpose Food  
  
"I can't believe I got stuck with the pigs!" moaned Gimli.  
  
"Well, at least you'll be with you own kind!" laughed Legolas.  
  
"Come on guys, stop it! We've got work to do!" Shouted Aragorn from the front of the line as they made their way around the farm.  
  
The first pen they came to was the chicken house.  
  
"Awwww!!!! Look at all the cute lil chickadees!" cried Frodo as soon as he saw them.  
  
"They are just soooo cool!!! I wanna be a chicken!" said Sam, running around the pen, pretending to be a chicken.  
  
"That's not how to be a chicken Sam!" said Frodo, horrified. "It goes like this!" he said as he demonstrated. "I should know! I won first prize at Bilbo's fancy dress party dressed as a chicken!" he said proudly.  
  
"Ummm, Frodo? That wasn't a fancy dress party." replied Sam, confused.  
  
"But Gandalf said." Frodo trailed off, looking up at the wizard who had guilt written all over his face.  
  
"Well then, erm, I suppose we must, um, leave you to it," said Gandalf as he quickly turned to leave.  
  
"Just a minute, come back here," Frodo called after him.  
  
Gandalf reluctantly walked back, as Frodo climbed onto one of the chicken houses. Once he was up there, Sam handed him a bag.  
  
"What are you gunna do?" Gandalf asked the hobbit worriedly, as Frodo took his hat  
  
"Just showing YOU how to dress like a chicken!" he replied smugly as he emptied the contents of the bag into the hat. He then placed it down on Gandalf's head, squashing the contents against the wizard's hair.  
  
"Do have fun with the cows," he said as Gandalf glared at him through the sticky mess running down his face. "Im sure they love the smell of stale eggs!"  
  
  
  
Next chapter up soon.REVIEWS!!!! PLZZZZZZ!!!!!!!! 


End file.
